And just so you know, when I say garden, I really mean my yard but garden evokes a more inspiring view and I don’t have a yard in the traditional sense. It’s no patch of pristine green grass. It’s a woodsy fairy space with surprise wildflowers and weeds popping up mostly at will. I only attempt to cultivate just a bit of the chaos.
The other day, I finally spent some time on the back porch and realized that the reason I hadn’t been out there is that everything feels overgrown and big and overwhelming and daunting. And maybe all the changes in this season of life have felt that way too. I’ve just avoided being out in the yard because I don’t like how it makes me feel. The yard is a metaphor for my emotions.
Last year was such a year of transition with the kids moving and leaving town. And me grieving all of that while at the same time planning all the ways we could be together before they all left. I’ve realized that maybe one of the reasons I didn’t spend time in the garden is because I was somehow bothered by still being here when all I wanted was to be where they were going or at least be traveling and not thinking about.
But that day, I started with just a little bit of weeding in just a small area. And already I feel better about it. When things are daunting and big and overwhelming, it often feels easier and less threatening to just look at it from afar and think it’s too much. But once you make the first move, once you take the first step, you realize the joy is still there and you can claim little bits of it at a time. And truly, that’s how joy works; little bits at a time. If you look, you may find that joy can be there most anytime.
Whatever is 